Hanya Aljamal never imagined her life would be so drastically altered. At 28, she was living independently in Gaza, teaching English and preparing for a Master's degree abroad. However, since the war erupted in October 2023, life as she knew it has unraveled into endless uncertainty. Living in a crowded apartment with her parents and five siblings, Hanya finds solace on the balcony, where she observes her elderly neighbor nurturing a small garden amidst the ruins, symbolizing hope in contrast to destruction.
As the Israeli military continues its offensive against Hamas, which initiated hostilities with attacks on Israel, the situation grows increasingly dire. Hanya's journey through this chaotic landscape is documented in an audio diary shared with the BBC. With most Gazans displaced and many living in temporary shelters, daily life has become a struggle for basic needs and emotional stability.
For Hanya, the nights are punctuated by the terrifying sounds of explosions and gunfire that disrupt her sleep, while the daylight hours are consumed with uncertainty. "You cannot control anything - not even your thoughts," she reflects, emphasizing the psychological toll of unrelenting violence. Her position as an aid worker with Action for Humanity reveals the compounded trauma and heartbreak faced by children in Gaza, many of whom have lost family and are grappling with their own grief.
Despite the chaos surrounding her, Hanya finds fleeting moments of joy—a group of girls performing dances during therapy sessions, colorful kites soaring against the backdrop of a war zone, each a testament to resilience and hope for a normal childhood. Yet, she cannot escape the grim reality that has overtaken her life, stating, "I felt like I was gaslit... like none of it was true."
As the first day of Eid al-Adha arrives, Hanya and her family confront the stark absence of traditions they once cherished. The realities of food scarcity and the loss of family members from violence overshadow any semblance of celebration. The news of her cousin's death, shot while seeking aid, further cements the tragedy of their shattered existence.
In these tumultuous times, Hanya's longing for a world filled with colors, beauty, and laughter confronts the grey, soot-covered landscape of Gaza. As her past aspirations fade into memories, she grips a shred of hope—whether found in the sky above or the promise of resilience below—amidst the devastation enveloping her life. "Grieving is a luxury many of us can't afford," she articulates, highlighting the emotional weight carried by her and countless others in Gaza.
