NEW YORK (AP) — On the eve of his sentencing, Sean “Diddy” Combs told a federal judge Thursday that he is a new man after realizing that he was “broken to my core” and wondering at times if he was better off dead.
Combs, 55, wrote in a letter to Judge Arun Subramanian that with his mind clear of drugs and alcohol after a year in jail, he can see how rotten he had become before his September 2024 arrest in a case that led to his conviction on two prostitution-related counts. His sentencing hearing is set to begin Friday morning.
“Over the past year there have been so many times that I wanted to give up. There have been some days I thought I would be better off dead. The old me died in jail and a new version of me was reborn. Prison will change you or kill you — I choose to live,” he said.
A jury in July acquitted Combs on sex trafficking and racketeering conspiracy charges, meaning he won’t face a life sentence. The prostitution-related counts each carry a maximum punishment of 10 years in prison.
Combs’ lawyers argue he should be set free this month, claiming his year spent in incarceration has been a sufficient penalty, while prosecutors are advocating for at least 11 years.
Expressing regret over the last two years, Combs admitted he has no one to blame but himself for his current situation. “I am so sorry for the hurt that I caused, but I understand that the mere words ‘I’m sorry’ will never be good enough,” he wrote.
In his letter, he specifically apologized for his behavior towards his then-girlfriend Casandra “Cassie” Ventura, acknowledging that he hit and dragged her during a 2016 incident that was captured on security footage. He also expressed remorse towards another woman whose testimony impacted him deeply.
Combs described the shame and regret he feels as a burden that prevents him from forgiving himself, stating, “I lost my way. I got lost in my journey. Lost in the drugs and the excess. My downfall was rooted in my selfishness.”
In jail, he has focused on self-improvement, including reading, writing, and teaching a course to fellow inmates. He has committed to sobriety and therapy to address his past behaviors.
He emphasized the impact of his incarceration on his family, particularly his mother and seven children, asking Judge Subramanian not to only consider his actions but their implications on his loved ones. Combs expressed fear and longing for his family, promising to change if given a second chance.
“If you allow me to go home to my family, I promise I will not let you down and I will make you proud,” he implored.
